Fasting follow up

A week or so ago I had just finished telling my dear friend Ted that only family and friends ever read my blog when I carelessly cranked out a post about my desires to wean and my feelings about the fast. The next day I skipped off to California to meditate on a mountain side in Placerville and enjoy some intense, unplugged family time. I came back completely refreshed and tranquil only to check my inbox and find 18 e-mails in response to that fasting post. I have never paid much attention to my stats page, but felt this was an appropriate time to do so. What I found floored me. An unbelievable amount of people read that blog. Who knew?

So, I apologize for writing so thoughtlessly about 2 such sensitive topics as breastfeeding and fasting. I assumed that anyone’s eyes that would fall upon my page already had some sense of our family’s life and values. The very enthusiastic responses I received from that post have made me see that I must be a bit more thorough and thoughtful.

So, to clarify, I am quite pro-nursing and have nursed my 3 kids a good many years. But if you are a parent you know that as wonderful as nursing is, there comes a time when it is obvious that it’s time to cut back a bit. In my case knowing it was time did not come accompanied with a knowledge of how to go about it. Haven has only increased his nursing as he’s gotten older, not decreased. That said, none of his nourishment is coming from me. I’m virtually a milk-free human pacifier.

In regards to the Baha’i fast, I know that breastfeeding mom’s are not bound by the fast, but that knowledge didn’t change the fact hat I’m just so in love with every nuance of this beautiful faith that I whole-heartedly long to partake of every little aspect of it. While I would never venture to put words in Baha’u’llah’s mouth, it seemed pretty clear to me that the reason for excusing the nursing mother is because both mother and child are engaged in a delicate exchange of nourishment that is essential for the health and well being of both involved. Being that Haven gets his nourishment from well balanced meals, just like his brother and sister, I felt like my category of nursing mom’s probably didn’t need to sit this gift out and may not even really have been the subject of that exemption. I jusy hadn’t really put much thought into it before the fast was upon me. And it is not written that we are forbidden to fast, rather that we are not bound by that obligation (atleast that I am aware of).

So, now that you know my thinking, let me tell you what has happened since that post. In my desire to participate at least partially in the fast, I finally did what I knew long ago should be done and I took the difficult step of cutting Haven down to nursing once a day. Once he accepted this new reality he became the most wonderful, engaging little fellow I have ever met. He no longer screams all day over nursing. He cuddles, plays and reads with me with no clawing and whining. He is finally participating in what is going on in the world around him. It is so wonderful.

Perched up on the California hillside with nothing to do but play and pray, I came to accept that fasting need not be an all or nothing activity and contented myself with my part in it for the year. I feel quite happy, though, with having tried to do it full tilt for the first few days. It pushed me to finally make a long overdue parenting maneuver and taught me a bit about moderation and accepting guidance.

All in all I’d say this was a week of lessons learned. I learned that I am not safely typing within the shelter of internet anonymity, that Haven can be pleasant as a plum when the distractions of nursing are removed, and that I can be a little more gentle with my self as I am transitioning into comfort with all this Baha’i lifestyle stuff. Happily, I also learned that there is a world of supportive strangers out there who have been silently following along with the twists and turns of our family’s life and are wishing us well on our way.